Half the trouble in this world is owing to the fact that most of us do not realise that new are not one out three persons :
The person we think we are .
The person others think we are.
As long as we try to fool ourselves that we are other than we really are , we can’t find neither peace nor happiness , nor even success .
The portrait painter has a greater advantage over the photographer , for he can make you look as you appear to him ,as you appear to yourself , or as you would like to appear to others. But that doesn’t change the original.
Finding out what other people think about us is not so difficult . Since I write under several pseudonyms, I am often able to get a reader’s opinion of my influence as a writer by not disclosing my other identities .But there is a risk in this method . For if you cannot face the truth, or you are one of those who do not know how to evaluate the opinion of readers according to their ability and experience , you are likely to be easily upset .
On the other hand, the person we think we are easily he made to coincide with the person we really if we are self –analytical . Good writers are their own severest critics. When you tell a seasoned writer that an article he has written is good, you are not telling him anything new except perhaps that you are discerning reader who can recognize merit when you see it . This is like saying that a good conversationalist is not one who is a good speak but one who is a good listener .Here is an excellent way to judge those around you:
He who knows not ,and knows not that he knows not is a fool _____leave him !
He who knows not, and knows that he knows not is simple _____ teach him !
He who knows , and knows not that he knows, asleep ______ wake him !
He who knows , and knows that he knows , is wise _______ follow him !
Watch Your Foibles
He was busy at writing table. His wife sat on the sofa with her needle work . Everything was in its place and the room was quiet and peaceful. Suddenly a thud broke the silence as a reel of cotton thread fell to the floor and rolled away from the sofa .The man frowned .His wife left the room without delay .The man was Arnold Bennett. He was very touchy about the slightest noise while he was working. His wife did not complain. She knew how intensely authors often live. She knew she must humor her husband and make due allowances for the foibles of the great .
Do not , however ,confuse a foible with folly. There are some people who mimic the genius, only to become the “genuine ass” by pretending to be very absent – minded, moody, or difficulty to get on with . There are many others who imagine that a temperamental person is one who displays a quick temper .
Many people with great talent , but lacking n discipline, have wasted their opportunities with petty outbursts of temper .Others have frittered away years waiting for the world to acknowledge their first ‘ masterpiece ’ .
Hollywood is not only place that is filled with potentially great men and women who once had their names in neon lights ,but have now sunk into oblivion because of bad temper and tantrums . A second-rate cooperative actor is more in demand than a genius whose tantrums prevent good teamwork .
In certain careers , mannerisms can also hamper success . Ask an observant friend to watch you closely and report any mannerisms that are likely to upset others or detract from a pleasing personality .
Avoid slouching ,drumming on the table top with your fingers turning pages with spit on your fingertips ,placing your feet on the table, shuffling your feet and other such bad habits .
Be tolerant of the foibles of others, but do your utmost to reduce them in yourself .
Personality Pays
If you scan the pages of some journals and read the views expressed by outstanding personalities , one question is conspicuous by its repetition . ‘How can I develop personality? ’ Ursula Bloom gives this noteworthy advice to young people : Please do not do as I did at your age , and waste years coping other people .’ This search for personality is no modern quest .It is old as man .To the same question asked by the youth of Greece, Socrates replied : ‘Know thyself ’ That was excellent advice , but it did not satisfy because it did not go far enough. So, when young Romans questioned Marcus Aurelius , he said : ‘ be thyself ! ’ To the youth of our atomic age the psychologist of today says , ‘Develop thyself ! ’ And to the most urgent query of our day: What is personality ? ‘The answer is Personality is the development of oneself !’
For centuries ,educationists advised that education consisted of putting knowledge into children .Later education came to have its true meaning ____the bringing out , or development of the child _____from the Latin word educo , ‘ to bring out’. So also personality was considered to be like a dress that one could put on This dress consisted of good manners ,a well groomed appearance and neat and tasteful clothing .Now, we know that personality is not an external appearance ; it is the developed self .You cannot have personality by repeating the wise saying of the sages or mouthing the sophisticated opinions : if you did that you would only be your ‘Master’s Voice’. You must learn to think for yourself and voice your own opinion. You cannot have personality by copying screen stars , or models .You must choose clothes that suit your colour ,stature and environment ____clothes that bring out your attractiveness and charm .
Three Factors Of Personality
The three essential factors of personality are sincerity , knowledge and service .You cannot have personality if you ape someone else ___you must be yourself . Of course, you cannot help imitating those you admire, or coping the good points of your idols, but aping is not imitating .By all means learn from others but make your personality your own .Do as they do , but do it in your own way. Study the good qualities of those you admire and strive to develop them in yourself ___their straightforward conduct and speech , their strict fulfillment of promises ,their freedom from disguise and false pretences , their avoidance of flattery , their cheerfulness , their eagerness to help and their enthusiasm for living .Sincerity is the keystone of personality .It is much more important than prettiness or poise .
The second factor is knowledge .Ignorance begets fear , knowledge begets confidence .Read widely and wisely . The real purpose of reading is not to accumulate knowledge ,but to use it .Include in your regular reading the Reader’s Digest , or any other good magazine .Join a study circle or start one with your friends .
The quickest way to develop personality is through social service .It gives extensive opportunities for self –expression ; it helps cultivate tact and teaches tolerance ; it stresses the futility of flattery and exposes the hollowness of hypocrisy .Serve your neighbor and you will learn how to lead the nation .Service , selfishness and sacrifice form the essence of leadership and of personality .
You can radiate as charming a personality as your favourite film star if you set about it with enthusiasm and preserve in your quest with determination. First, you must study yourself .Make a list of your strong qualities and then a list of your filings. Cultivate good habits to slowly replace the bad or indifferent ones .make full use of all twenty-four hours each day .Time should be spent , not squandered .Widen your interest in life and have at least two hobbies at a time . Be more enthusiastic about life ; get the most out of it . Above all _be sincere , be wise and be useful .