Sunday, December 16, 2012

Mindfulness And Meditation by Sayadaw U Jotika


Whether meditation as I understand, is not creating something (calm ,concentration  or insight or what not).Rather it is seeing clearly   whatever  is happening in the moment in a very simple way. Aiming at or creating calmness or insight   is trying to start from     where we should be. So we always fall back to where we are because we didn’t start from where we are.  Because we didn’t start from where we are. Another way of saying it is: Meditation is complete  internal communication or life ( problems ) understood in depth is meditation.

So  there should be no difference between untangling the content of one’s  ‘staff’, working with problems (neurotic or what not ) and meditation. It is all part of the same process .

For me,doing councelling and giving guidance in meditation are not much different.So a person who does not understand people but has a lot of book knowledge  is not a meditation teacher (or councellor ) but is a scholar .

Most westerners need a lot of help just untangling the content of their staff.For this, a wordly teacher can be very helpful ..I understood this   point along  time ago ,and I am getting deeper into this matter.Even when   I was  in the USA., my way of working with people   was first to understand their  life,their stuff, their problems, and see where they are stuck.  Helping them see their  problems clearly. The whole point of meditation is just untangling –to untangle internal external tangles .
So there can be no cut –an –dried  formula for every-body.People are unique.So, there should be flexibility. The Buddha himself gave different instructions for different people .

My understanding is that a meditation teacher must be very sensitive.He (or she ) must understand himself very deeply.He must be aware of his own tangles; be very creative in dealing with people;understand every person in deeper way; be gentle and patient in guiding;not be pushing or demanding to make progress which can cause a feeling of inadequacy and unhappiness. He must understand where his student is.You know ,we must start from where  we are  not from where  we should be.So,a teacher  must understand where a student   is and give him/ her guidance so that the student can start from where he /she is .

Meditation,as it’s been taught to and practiced by many people,has its limits. That’s because they don’t understand it propely and they are trying to do it as    if it is something apart from their life.

Real mindfulness meditation is all inclusive.No part of our mental and physical life should be left out of our mindfulness.Every aspect of our life should be well understood .
Real practice is natural,moving,living ,limitless,should be practiced everywhere ,every time.A specialized and fragmented approach    is unacceptable for me.I am beginning to feel that a specialized ,standardized approach is harmful..I’m beginning to feel that a specialized,standardized approach is harmful.

The best thing I can do for myself is to be mindful.Look into your mind ( life ) and see how dependent you are on people and books.See how easily you get bored.Can you live with boredom without doing anything about it,except being mindful of it ?

Doing nothing is actually  not easy . I believe you know that from your   experience   . What happens to your mind when you do nothing ?  Have you carefully observed that? Boredom is unbearable. So,we try to find something to do,to run away from boredom.Just try to nothing for a few days .

Non- doing is not easy .if you try not to do non-doing , then you are doing .If you try to accomplish  something,you are doing.And your ego is strong >If you don’t do anything you become meaningless and empty.
Non-doing is a state of mind which is free from ego.Doing without reacting; without a person doing it .And moist important of all,doing wholesome deed without excepting anything in return .

Understanding comes to those who are not in hurry to understand. Understanding is like a fruit tree; it takes time to become mature.One cannot force it to bear fruits.

Instead of running away from boredom, if you can work through it you will find a kind of weakfulnss, alertness, life clarity ,  beyond  that,Then the mind becomes workable . Mostly  we give in and become busy,busy.When we’re busy we feel  useful,important.When we’re doing nothing we feel useless and feel ashamed.Some people take pride in  being busy .
There is a kind  of dullness in the mind which is always there.We need something exciting,  some kind of stimulant ,either taking or reading or travelling or ..to keep the mind awake .Otherwise it is in a half – wakeful state.If you can train your mind to be awake all the time, without any of those stimulants ,you’ll find a new kind of energy .Only by being constantly mindful can you get there .

Whether you are on retreat or not it is important to be mindful all the time. Doing a retreat is useful .But it is very important to keep up your practice so that you can maintain your clarity .Otherwise you go downhill again.It’s like swimming upstream :I f  you don’t make  a continuous effort you go downstream.

Effort in meditation is like effort in learning  to ride a bicycle .In the beginning you put too much effort and you fall off .Later on, by doing it  repeatly  ,  you learn to put  just enough effort to keep you on the bicycle so you can put more effort to move forward  .You learn by doing it .The most important point ,I think  is continuity .If you know what   mindfulness  means  then , be mindful more and more .By being   mindful ,  you learned  how to mindful with relaxed effort .If you think you need to put more effort ,do it and see how it affects your mind( mindfulness ).You’ll  learn how to maintain  you mindfulness.you will find that your mind is not at ease when it is not mindful .

I  want to be free  and peaceful,bodily and mentally.So,I’m looking to see what makes a person not free and not peaceful . The more I can see what’s blinding me,the better there is the chance of becoming   free . The answer is quite simple ------ attachment and pride .But to see them when they are in action is most important,not just to think about them .
I don’t want to be busy .Being busy is a wasteful way of living .When you’re busy  you get so involved that  you can’t see what’s going on your mind .You become  unmindful . So,I don’t want to be a  busy  teacher .

If you want to get the most out of meditation do it wholeheartedly .Do it as there nothing else  you want to do in your life .  Beware of distractions .

To learn how to swim you have to get into the water. No use sitting on the bank and asking people to teach you  how to swim . With minimum instruction   you can get   into the water and teach yourself how  to swim .Choose a suitable object ( or two  ) for yourself,and be mindful  of them  continuously.Continuity is the  most  important point .
Thinking cannot make the mind happy.Watch you thoughts  without wanting to control them .When you see them  clearly  they will stop. Thinking  is  such a big burden .

The most important thing is to be aware of your own mind .Also your motives when you do things .Mostly people are not aware of  their motives they justify them .

Minfulness practice ( meditation)   is awareness of everything happening in all six sense bases all the time, from the moment you wake up until the last moment  before you fall asleep .Not just when  sitting .

Much more important to be mindful of and understand your fantasies,  ideas  you are   attached  to, frustactions , loneliness and any    other   feelings,  weak or strong  .

If   something   works    for   you    (like nothing ), do it.  Do it   long and  do it well so that you know all about its advantages and disadvantages.

Meditation  is  the best  kusala ( wholesomeness) .
If you are  mindful and wise, you never lose .
The idea is to be mindful   always .
I’m happy when I’m alone .Talking is boring. Things ( and also people ) are losing their influence on me. Hard to talk about  this feeling.  I feel much   lighter in my heart.

Don’t take the emotion ,commotion too seriously.And don’t try to justify it either .You are living your own life and  you have a right to do whatever you think is right for you at the moment . If you make a mistake , learn from it .

If you make a mistake and you are in trouble ,look   into  it without complaining or blaming ( oneself or others ) or running away ; without justifying yoursely or getting  upset about it .If you can see this without any   restitance    you can overcome   (grow out of it ) that very quickly and easily .I’m getting better at that ,now .

Relationships are so frustrating.I told you many times : I’m becoming alone .So,I understand very well  what you said ‘ “ I retrat within myself “ .If you watch your mind really closely without wanting  to  be  different, it will resolve your knots , but don’t watch your mind only  in  order  to resolve your knots. That will cause a conflict .See   anatta  (nonself ) in your mind .

I’m getting tired of the   “show ” .
I’ve been meditating more this last month .So,nice to be alone .I want to read less and less .Now I want to read my mind more .I don’t learn anything in depth from books .Only when I see my life ( my mind ) clearly can I learn something   in depth .

 For a human being, understanding human nature in general and understanding his /her  mind in particular is the most fruitful thing .

What I’m doing here is so important  for  me ( I mean deleving  into my mind  ) that I don’t want to  interrupt it unless there is a good reason. In fact ,I want to go to much more secluded  place ,and livie alone and meditate all the time , without interruption .Nothing else is worth the trouble. You   have read ; you have talk; you haved discussed ;you have thought a lot ;and still you are confused .Enough of all those things .
This clarity makes the mind a lot less attached .My mind is now very much  detached and clear .I don’t want to get distracted .

So,you are not  confused about being confused ?Some people don’t know they are confused .They are too busy or crazy to think about that .all I can tell you is  don’t think too much and be mindful .You know thinking too much makes you more confused .

If you can be mindful when you are sick you’ll learn  something very deep and meaningful .You will see hoe lnely you are and how meaningless everthing is .When the worst of the worst happens we will be really alone .

‘I’m seeing this loneliness more and more. There are very  few  people who can reach us and understand us .Between each person there is a big chasm of misunderstanding .

Mindfulness is part of our nature.It  can be developed naturally with ease .

Can you explain to her how to  be aware of her thoughts and feeling? Not control .just simple ,bare awareness of mind.The chattering,the monologue or dialogue going on in the mind.The comments,judgments,etc .

Mindfulness is a way of  life ( living )Wherever we are and whatever we are doing we should do it mindfully.Thinking is  big hindrance to mindfulness.We should be mindful of that.Actually,it is very important to be aware of thinking.Watch your mind without blaming or judging.See it as a thing in itself ;not yours.

In meditation,do whatever comes easily and naturally.The most important point is to be interested and it should be interesting to be happy doing it  .There  should be some satisfaction in doing it.Once something becomes boring there is a negative attitude towards it .With that  sort of negative  attitude  it is tiring ti go on doing it.You said, “saddha –( confidence ) = energy “. Yes,when you have saddha – in your practice you have energy to do it .

So,if you are  interested in  watching  your mind instead of rising and falling,why not ? The mind is the most interesting thing  in life .
Walk   more and be mindful.The more you  think  of how to  improve your situation the more unhappy you become.Always planning for the future -----------“I will be  happy if I live in a good place”.   Always :  “ I will be happy if…..”   Never ,   “I am happy ….”

Enough planning,  improving.Just see  what is happening at this moment without any motive to improve it.

I understand your struggle and pain. I  know you are trying your best to be a good discipline of the Buddha.It is hard .It  is not even easy to keep the five percepts.To come to see  clearly that dhamma practice is the only way that  could lead to liberation,happiness.They don’t know what an extraordinary thing it is not to have any envy ( jealousy ); to rejoice  in other people’s prosperity ; to  share  whatever you have with others ;and to  have overcome all the doubts about  one’s practice ( whether  it is  the right way  or not ).What a relief it is not  to have doubts about the path one is walking  on .

I can understand how hard it is to practice satti ,  for someone who is living such a busy life.  I’ m not  hundred  percent  mindful either .It would be better  if you can cut down on any  unnecessary activities. We listen to the  dictates   of our minds and run around doing things that our mind tell us to do ,but   if you watch your minds more closely we will  see that we don’t have to believe all the things that our mind tell  us  to believe, and  we don’t have to run around like mad doing all the things that the mind tells us to do.


We waste so much time in trivial pursuits. The Buddha said: “appakicco” (Few duties or responsibilities).
 If   you limit yourself   more careful ll y,you will be able to develop deeper awareness. If you can’t be mindful in your daily  life,you cannot develop  understanding of  life and the understanding of Dhamma    go together. First of all, learn  to live your daily life, meaning  fully ,sanely .

I’ve found very  few people who are deeply interested in Dhamma as you are. Most people are not even aware the states of mind .We  all have good (wholesome ) states of mind .To  be aware of both states of mind, and that is why it is anatta--. See that you are not making these bad (unwholesome ) mind states  .

To unserstand  the nature of mind ,that is ,the nature of lobha (greed ),dosa ( aversion),moha ( delusion ),mana( comparing) , issa ( jealousy ),macchariya ( stinginess ),  kukucca (worry ),and so on ;and also  to understand sati ( mindfulness ),Samadhi  ( conventration ),panna (wisdom ),metta ( loving –kindness ),karuna –( compassion ),etc…, is more important than to attain some stage of enlightment or to  get rid of any –kilesa ( defilement ).Understanding comes first ; overcoming happens (follows ) naturally , later.So,please,be willing to watch  whatever is happening in the moment.  See the nature of it first .

If  you  are upset  because  of there is lobha  ,or dosa ,or you will not see  it  clearly because you are agitated, you have dosa ( aversion) .See that too.Only when you are willing  to look at your  mind without feeling guilty  ,without wanting to do anything  anything about it,will you able to  see it clearly.Then it will lose its power  over you because it is  exposed _ it is transparent .  

Please don’t condem greed,pride ,anger and so on .You can learn quite a lot  from them . You can’t grow up unless you know about  them very well .Only when you can see them  with a clear mind can you learn about their true nature  ,especially their  anatta ----ness ( selfssness) .

The first and most important step in meditation is  nonidentification with  mental  (nama ) and physical  (rupa ) phenomena .It si not overcoming anything except  overcoming  identification with  the nama rupa  process  .Why do people get upset ? Because  they identify with  nama rupa.  So ,when there is  greed,lust , attachment  or frustration ,anger  or pride ,etc  the most important thing is to  see them as    natural  phenomenon without taking  them as something    person .Don’t  try to overcome them .  

Being  upset  is another ego trip . Is there a person (anatta ) who is upset ? Being upset is just  another  natural phenomenon .Being  upset  is ego boosting .IF  the mind  doesn’t get upset ,if there is nonidentification   in  the watching   mind , which  means  there  is  equanimity ,the mind  will be able  to watch   greed, etc .., with interest  ,calmness , and clarity  and see  it  for  what  it is  --- a fleeting  , insubstantial , impersonal  natural  phonemon  .Identifications  makes   all  defilements stronger .Without  indentification  they are not strong.  

If you are  upset  because  you enjoy music, you are being too  demanding, you are asking  ( excepting ) too much .But  of you see  the enjoying mind and watch  it with equanimity , only  them will  you see  it  for  what it is  . Being upset ( which is dosa ) is  a close  companion  of greed  and pride .,Because  you  think: I am  a meditator  so there shouldn’t be   greed  or pride  arising in my mind  ,you get  upset . when  there is   greed  or enjoyment  of any kind      ,say   instead:Please  stay  and let  me  study  you . They are  really wonderful . Greed  is  the greatest  magician .Learin (see ) the   way   it conjures up  pleasant   feelings. The  mind  gets  so tricked  by greed   that  we don’t  see it  as a magician ,we  see it as  me .      

The  mind   is   tricky  . The mind  wants change  ,something different ,.It craves  for entertainment ,stimulation. Boredom   is  a great problem .  That’s  what most  people are  doing --- running  after  stimulation  is one form  or another .

If we don’t watch out  we can  become  very self –righteous  because we  are  meditators, or practising  Buddhists,  or we know  Dhamma ; we  know   what  is good  and what  is bad …… which is  mana  again.

 When  there is  mana in your mind ,be  willing to see it  clearly. Don’t  try to drive it  away . To see  it clearly is very  important.The  rest will  take of itself. Only   when  becomes   an  arahart  is  one  totally  free  of  mana .

Don’t   practise  humility ; it will  be forced humality .Just  be mindful  of mana ( conceit ).If you see your mind  clearly  you will become  humble  naturally . You won’t    feel like   you’re practicing  haumility.You become less   proud  without your  consiciously doing it .

Without understanding the   immeditate   effect  of wholesome  and unwholesome  states  of mind   there cannot  be  real appreciation   of Dhamma  .Outward submission  to any   form  of  religious practice  will  never have a profound   and  lasting  result .  To understand  the  reaction of   the mind  to every  experience  through   the six  sense doors is  very  important  ,especially  the influence  of ideas  and  the attachment to them .

Have you understood ( do you understand  )  wholesome (kusala )  and  wholesome ( akusala )  states of mind ? I  think this  the most  fundamental  in  the practice . I don’t   want  to use  the words  good  and  bad in connection  with kusala  and akusala .I don’t mean  understanding  them by  reading  about  them  in  a book  or  thinking  about  them . I  mean  by really seeing   them immediately. To see  the difference  of  the qualities   of  minds   when  it is  wholesome  and when  it is  unwholesome .

Sometimes  when I see these very clearly I come to understand  that  it is not worth having   an  unwholesome  states  of mind  no matter   what  the situation  ( circumstance ) is.There must  be  a proper  way  (   without having  unwholesome state  of mind ) to confront a trying   situation.  This  is wisdom . To  be  able to live   in any  situation  without an unwholesome  states of mind. To get  the wisdom , first ,we  must   be clearly mindful  of the  mind reacting to all situations  , to everything we see ,we hear ,etc .

To  see  whatever  is  happening   in the mind   without  wanting  it  to be  different whether  it  is unwholesome ,unpleasant  ,and  not  beautiful ,  not desirable ,e.g  anger,lust, doubt , conceit   and  to see  whatever   is pleasant  happening  in  the mind without wanting  to hold on to it , without  try trying make  it  last  longer  ( calm,tranquility,rapture , clarity, etc ) this is very  important .

The moment  the mind wats  to be  in control  of  the situation ( to oppose, obstruct  or  hinder  what  is  happening  . or  to create   to  bring   into being , or to  make it last  longer .) it  loses its balance

Oppposing  is  aversion . Holding  on to is attachment .

But  not to oppose   doesn’t  mean   to encourage  either, and  not to  hold  on  to  doesn’t  mean   to discourage . Just  simply  watching   is  mindfulness .Watching   without getting  involved .

We are so used  to doing  something   ,making  something  that  we don’t   know how to simply  watch . We want  to have control over things . We want  to get  involved . So,we get into trouble ..I don’t mean  to say : Don’t get  involved ,   don’t control  because   then  you will be trying not to get involved  , not to control .Which is again trying  to be  in  control . So, you  are trying  to control ,simply be aware of  that .

More and more I can see that without  mindfulness life  would  be so  superficial .Mindfulness  gives  depth  and meaning  to life .

It is someting   hard  to understand   People say that  they want  to be happy .But  then, how come   they  are not  interested in  being  really mindful ?  It  must  be   because they  think   happiness  lies  somewhere else , like  in sense  pleasure ,such as in  getting   what you  want  , in becoming  somebody , in being  in control  of some important  position  , in some  pleasurable  feeling .

People ( you  and I  ) want excitement , something  stimulating   ( intellectually ,for me ). Sometimes  we  want  to rest ; we get tired  of   stimulating  things . then we  want to practice  mindfulness , keep  the  mind quiet . Sometimes,I get  really tired ,feel burnt out , of  reading   ,thinking , ,talking , planning .Then , my mind  turns away  from   all those    things . I can  see  how meaningless   they are . how   unnecessary . At   that  time  ,it   is very  easy to be just simply mindful . So,I  wish  I felt  burnt  out  all the time .So, it is Ok  to feel burnt  out .

It is  very  important  to keep the body  and mind well –turned  like  you tune   your radio . Only when  in good   condition  will  they  be sensitive , able  to detect  properly  the frequencies , the vibrations , and the signals .

 So,it is  very important  to  learn  how  things affect  our  body  and mind . Food, weather , exercise , talking ,reading,  sensual pleasure : everything  affects  body and mind . And also meditation . Mediation  makes  the mind  more sensitive .

The mind  likes  to dwell in the past  or in the future . : it toughes the present only tangentially ,doesn’t  want to stay    in the present ; always   looking  for the distraction – watching TV, listening  to the radio , ,eating, talking, ,smoking, reading       ( yes, I forgot  that __ reading ), and what not .Do we  really   like mindfulness ?Well --- yes…. But …. Ha..ha . No wonder  we are superficial.

We use mindfulness as  painkiller.Only   when  life  becomes  too painful  do  we   want  to go to the  quiet   palce  and meditate . Otherwise,we are quite  content  with  distractions.

One cannot be totally free from anger.It wil come when there is sufficient cause.All one can do is to see that there is anger.See how much hurt yourself  when you are upset . it’s not worth getting upset voer anything . Be mindful .See anger only as anger , not ‘ my anger ’ .

Don’t say  youy should not be angry .It   is very important to be  realistic . We have ideals,but we might never attain  those  ideals . That doesn’t   mean  that we shouldn’t have  ideas . It  means we must have aware of our capacity .So, don’t be discouraged because  you have ups and downs . Try  to be mindful  as much  as possible . Try your best .

I  used  to feel bad ( ashamed)  about having faults ( not being perfect ).In some cases,  it is  the other  people’s   unrealistic expectations projected onto me ; and  unknowingky  I slip  into the role  they  expect   of me . It  is impossible ; it   is  even dangerous ;it  makes me feel inadequcate .But now I have learnt to be myself .

Please be mindful even though  its hard sometimes.When you think it is impossible to be mindful, that  is  the  time   when  it  is more important  to be mindful .

It is  more  important  to  be  meditate  when  you are restless .When  you think it  is impossible   for  you to meditate  because  your mind is   crazy __ that is the most important  time   for you  to meditate . Buddha  said : When  the mind is  restless ,one know that  mind is  restless.You are not expected to do more   than  that .

The  Buddha  did not  say  you should   feel  guilty   for being  greedy   or  angry . You  know  what’s  happening . Don’t  deceive  yourself . That’s  all  you  can do . So,  be mindful  but  don’t  beat yourself  up .Acceptance and  honesty  is  the  most important  thing .

Just  knowing  the states that  mind  is  in would be enough . If you try to do more than that ,you will end  up  being  more frustrated .There  is  no control  and  that  means  anatta.When   the mind is lustful ,one knows  that  mind  is lustful . To know clearly  ; that’s all,   not  more  than that .To have  a calm   and  peaceful  mind  all the time   is impossible  for someone  who is in  contact   with  so   many people  in   every day .

 I know how  reading Dhamma books  and / or  listening  to some  dhamma tapes  can  make  one feel guilty .The  idea  is  too high . We cannot  reach  it . We  don’t  need   to  feel guilty   about enjoyning  sense pleasures as   we   don’t  harm  anyone.See what  enjoyment of sense  pleasure  is.While  enjoying  pleasant sensation  one  knows   that  I enjoy  pleasant  sensations. Where   does guilt  come in ? Who taught us  to feel  guilty whenever  we enjoy our life?Enough ?

Even though we know  mindfulness  is the best  thing we can do  for ourselves,we get distracted very often .We want to be stimulated .

Watch  your mind and see  what it   is doing .If you understand your mind, most  of your problems will disappear   because   most of  the problems  are  mind - made. __ they have no reality outside   your  mind .

 The best you can do  is to acknowledge, to be aware , to know the state the mind is  in without  blaming yourself .or  justifying; without wanting it to be  different  or running away ; without feeling guilty or  ashamed .

Look as your mind  as mind,not as  ‘my mind ’. Whether  it is good or  bad  see  that  as  anatta ; see that it arises because  it has  sufficient  conditions to arise , not arising on its own . Not  a being , not me ,  not mine.Kilesas ( defilements ) are very interesting .

Expectations is  the source  of disappointment .In itself, it even  makes  the mind restless.

Sometimes,I think that having an ideal of calmness ,peacefulness and cheerfulness   makes a person even more frustrated.

 Those who are living a  secluded life might  be able to  be equanimous ( but  not me ).As soon as you  have  contact with people ( people who are inconsiderate, selfish , who take  advantage of you ), you will find it difficult to have equanimity.

Calmness  is necessary to develop  deep insight ; it is the   opposite  of agitation.There  is  nothing wrong with some calmness,but be careful of  attachment  to calmness__ that   attachment  is   dangerous .Calmness  makes  the  mind  clear . It refreshes  the mind and helps  mindfulness .

We are doing autosuggestion everyday,but  most of us don’t know that.Some are positive and of course  some are  negative . Suggestions are very  much  like  attitudes.

The most important thing to know is your own mind .

The only thing  you have direct experience of is your  mind , which includes , your thoughts,feelings,attitudes,etc. All the rest  is  inference .Even when   you look  at  your hands and think that  you see its shape  and colour , it has gone  through  many stages .How do  you see shapes  and colours ? What is  shape ? And  what is  colour ?

A friend reported  to me that when he  was meditating and was aware of sound ,at first he experienced sound as coming from  somewhere   at the distance .  Later when  he became  more mindful he experienced  sound in the ear ,happening  in the ear .And then when he became even more mindful  he experienced sound happening  in the mind . Without   mind  there can be no sound .

Nothing is good substitute  for mindfulness.You said , “ I  knew  many of my problems would   go away  if  I were  to continue   this  practice .” We often say,   “ If, if  , if …” What   it  which keep us from really doing  it ?Why if ?IT seems like we don’t want our .problems to go away . Or,we don’t really   believe  we  can  make  it. So,  it  is better   to say ,if .This   keep  us hoping . If   we  really  do  it  and  don’t   succeed then   we   will   have  no   hope  anymore ..So,better  not  to    really plunge  into  it . Just  hoping . If  you don’t  really  do  it,  you  can  always   say  ‘I  can ’ . This  is  the  way the  mind  plays tricks. To   protest  itself  from  from  feeling hopeless  ,  it never does anything  wholeheartedly .

Why  do we try so hard  to convice others ?

We don’t know  anything   for sure ,
But  we know  that we  suffer .
If  we don’t get agitated
We’ll find  an  answer.
The pride  of  having  an answer
Has caused  my blindness.( Sayadaw U Jotika )

Do whatever  you want  to  do .Meditate, takes  robes, do penance.You  know  what’s  best  for you.If  I may give  any adv ice  though .I would say: be mindful .

Practise  relaxing meditation.It is  quite simple . Sit  in an easy position  or lie down   if  possible.Go through   you whole  body  starting  from  your forehead . checking  all the spots and for  dull pain.As you become  aware  of the    unpleasant  feelings more and  more  and  more  you will  learn   to relax  the muscle ,and  the  tension   or pain   will   slowly  fade away . Go over  every part of your body  without exception.Even  the inside  of your  body . Do  it   very slowly  and  patiently, down  to  your fingers  and toes , front  and  back .do  it once   and over  again .

Sometimes  I am surprised  when I find a  lot  of  people  who are religious and  don’t know even  the simplest thing  about mindfulness. Some people  said  that  it was  the first  time  they’d  heard  that one can practise mindfulness anywhere, anytime , no matter  what  he  is doing .Many people  thought  that   one  should  practice meditation  when  sitting only. And  that  one  should  not do   anything  while  meditating . They  think   that  that  is  the  only time  to  meditate which  means  they are  not willing  to watch  their  mind, when they are relating  to people .

In their  daily life ,many people  do a lot of  sitting  practice   but they  don’t see  their  greed .desire ,anger  ,hatred , pride,envy, jealousy .A  lot  of meditators  do  not  see  the   importance  of watching  with  honesty  the  defilements   arising  spontaneously  in  their  daily  life,  in  their   interaction  with  people ., and  when talking  to people .I enpahasize  a lot  about  being  mindful  while  talking  __ that’s  when  people  are  the least mindful.

Most  meditators  have a scheduled  time  to  meditate.  They have a choice of  their object of meditation ( which  is OK  in  the beginning ). Choice  means exclusion ( they  exclude  some  things ) meditation  should  be  about  inclusion .My understanding  is  that people should  first  try  to  be  aware  of  their  defilements .


A  person  who  is practicing   mindfulness   talks  mindfully.talking  is  a big  part  of  our  life.  It  is  very beneficial  to  develop  mindfulness  while  talking . It  is not easy  but  it is also  not impossible . be  mindful  of  what  you  want  to talk about ,and  when  talking  ,be  mindful  of our  lips  moving , the tone  and loudness  of your voice  or  whatever  is related  talking .

The  most painful experience in life  arise  from   relationships.  So,it  is very  important  to be mindful  when  we  are relating  to people . We should  be aware  of  our  attitude  toward  the people  we  relate  to .To  watch  our  attitude  toward anything is  very  important. If  we  don’t  have  the right  attitude we  will   create a lot  of  problems .

 To be  mindful is  the best  thing I can  do  for myself .If  you can practice  mindfulness  for mindfulness sake  you  will  understand  mindfulness   better .

People  are full of  conflicting  wishes  and desires .Most  people  don’t  know  what they really  want  to do . They  change  their  minds  back  and forth . Inconsistency  is the rule . The  mind   is full of   conflicting  feelings .

The shadows  of the  trees  are long.The sun  is going  down.the evening breeze  is so  cool. How  quiet  and peaceful   it is here.It  is like a brahma  world . Simplicity ,contentment, restraint  ,mindfulness,endurance, loving –kindness,compassion,  and understanding  of  the mind and  body are  what  makes  life here  so  peaceful .
I never  feel beoredom.I live  peacefully  and hope  to die peacefully in  a forest . I watch  my mind . Things  comes and go.Nothing  lasts  forever . Even  the  worst  of  the them  doesn’t last  long . So  when  they came  I know  they  will be  gone  in the next  instant .I don’t have   to do anything  to  make them disappear .I want to see them as if I’m  looking  through  a microscope  at  something  very interesting .But  ,the moment  I focus my  mind on whatever  is arising  I see only a  glimpse  of  it .Then  it’s  gone . I want  to say : please  stay,let  me  see you well .After  all  ,we  are  old acquaintances . But  they are afraid  of  close  scrunity .So  mindfulness  is   my constant  companion .

The most  important  thing  is  to be  mindful .To  be so  mindful  that  thinking  comes  to a stop  and you  see  what  life  is all about,  where  the  problems  come  from .Your problems come from  mind . You  won’t  understand  what  I mean  when I say , “Your  problems  come  from  your  mind ” ,but  when  you reach  a point   where  you  understand  your  mind  really  deeply  then you  will know .Wisdom  can overcome  kamma .

One  must  be always  true ( faithful ) to  what one is doing ,or respect  what  you  are doing ,  or  respect  yourself. And  without that respect  your action   will not  be joyful, fulfilling  , fruitful.

Mindfulness has  no  motives  or  attitude .It only sees  things clearly, without  judging , without  wanting  things to be  otherwise. Practise  mindfulness  to see what  is .That’s all .

We  are not aware  of  a great part of  the process which  we call our mind, and  we’ve forgotten a large part of our experiences  and  feelings  and decisions  in  the  past  ( past lives too),Yet those  things  have much influence  on  the way  we   feel and  think   and  that part  which we are not very well aware of, or   have  forgotten  but  is  still part of  our  mind ,I call the unconscious  mind  for  want  of  a better  term .

I am becoming more  and  more  aware  of the  dark side  of my mind , and  as I become  more  accepting  it  becomes  more  revealing  and  I become  more  at ease.

We use  words  we communicate ,but words are so vague  in  meaning .

A lot of   things  have  lost  their  importance  for  me.I am  not concerned  about  a lot  of things any more .that  gives  me   more freedom  to see  what’s  going  on  in   my mind , in my life   and  what  the mind  is  really  doing .

Much  of  our suffering  is  our  own creation .The mind is a great magican : It creates suffering  and it suffers ; it creats  pleasure  and  it  enjoys ; it is  bitten   by a snake  which  is  its  own   creation and suffers  the  effect  of  the poison. If only  it  knew   and did not  create  so  much  suffering, ninety  per cent  of  the mental  pain  would  not  be  there  any  more.

Where  you  live  and whom you associate with is  very important. Some places and people put your mind in a  bad mood , and to be in a bad  mood all the time  can really  damage  your  mind .We are  very subtly  influenced  by  people around us .

I’m becoming more detached from people and organisations. People  use  people  for their  own  self- aggrandisement  in  the name of helping .

I  have  been watching   my  mind  for   so  many  years  now .So, I am  very  much  aware  of  my mind .I know  how stupid ,silly, foolish, mischievous  the mind  can  be ,but  because  I am  aware  of  it ,it  cannot  carry  me  away .

I have  forgotten  most  of  what  I’ve  learnt  from  books.I don’t  want to remember  too many  things.But,I know  a lot  about  myself, my mind , my mental  states ,all the bad,silly  things  about  me. I’ve been  taught by  people that such things are shameful, the  I should  feel  guilty for having such  thoughts .I refuse  to believe them .I know  that  all of us  have  such  thoughts  but  most  of us deny  that. I’m   not going  to  tell people  all about  me . I accepy  ( I don’t  resist ) all about  me ,good  and bad .

“We cannot  change  anything   unless we accept it ”

Understanding  and accepting  myself  gives  me peace  of   mind, ease  of mind .I’m  OK just the  way I am . I will go on seeing my  mind  without rejecting, judging ,resisting, denying .One  person I really  want  to know  well is  myself .

I prefer  my mind empty .clear ,and  light and not burdened with learning .I  have  nothing  to prove , nothing to  defend  and  nothing  to propagate .

Everybody  makes mistakes .I have learnt  a lot  about what  happens  to the mind when  a person   makes  a mistake __ how the mind burns with  guilt ; how the mind  wants  to forget the  past  ( mistakenly ); and especially  how it   (mistakenly )   keeps  the person  from   feeling  worthy  of the  good things in  life  ( such  as  love, respect, devotion, honor  , insight ,etc ) I forgive  my self Given the circumstances, how could  I have avoided  these  things ? But do I need  to  go on  feeling  guilty  for  the rest of  my life ? No! I’ve learnt from my mistakes and I’ll try my best not to repeat  them . What  more can I do ? Nothing .

Accepting  the truth will free  the mind .

There  can be no real spiritual growth without deeply understanding  ourselves  just  the way we are . Momentary  peace  and  bliss is  very  encouraging  but  that alone  cannot  bring  transformation .

Opinions  that agree offer  security .

 Yes, I can on being  upset  about people for not being open-minded ,but I don’t want to  do that anymore . I cannot  changed them ;I am not responsible for them  ;I will   help  them if I can ..Most people  don’t  know what is  happening  in  their  mind , in  their life . They think   they know, but  they don’t . Most people are heavily conditioned. You  need tremendous awareness  and honesty to overcome  that conditioning .You are conditioned  and  I am conditioned too. Do  we  know  that we are conditioned ? Most  of our  thinking   and  reactions  are  conditioned   reflexes .So, let us work  first  on ourselves .When we  ourselves  are free from being  conditioned then   I think we can  do something to help  others become  unconditioned .As  long as   we are upset  ,we  will hurt  others  in  the  name  of helping .Self –deception .Sometimes  it  can be so  complete  that  you  don’t even know .Defensiveness  makes  you blind  to our  weakness ( self –deception ). We deceive  ourselves  to  be happy . Sometimes  it  is  painful  to see  our weak points .

 Don’t  carry all the past  memories  and  all  the future  cares  in  your  mind .Live  each  and every  moment  mindfully. The  future  will  take  care  of  itself .

As  we learn  we grow   out  of  many  of  our  attachments ,desires  ,dreams  and  hopes .Disillusionment  is painful  in  the  beginning   because  it  is   associated , but  later  on it frees the mind .it  makes one  become  more  realistic . Life  is not  a  fairy  tale . There  is    no ‘ they  lived happily  ever  after ’  in real  life .To  be truthful ,we  must  change .Like  a snake which  sheds its skin  because  it  has  become  too tight, we must  shed our cherished  dreams. Instead of  complaining  that  it has  become too  tight   for us  to breathe ,we  must shed  our  old  skin  and grow   a new  one , allowing  us  to breathe  more  easily .But  we  must  remember  that when  the  times  comes  to shed  that  again , we should  not  be reluctant. It  is always painful  to shed old  skin. One  comes very  vulnerable  and  oversensitive  because   the  new  skin  is not strong  to stand  contact  with  the environment .

.I have  become  more  and  more  independent  psychologically . I don’t  feel  lonely .
        “How to be mindful of the deep down mental states?” You can sense the feeling. Be mindful of the feeling and wait patiently for the thing to surface. Don’t use force. Keep your mind soft.

        Happiness is having a quiet mind, and being completely mindful, so mindful that there is no thought, no sense of I. This happiness comes when all thoughts of the past or future do not occur _ no, “I”, no yesterday, no tomorrow, no plan. In that timeless moment  there  isn’t   an ‘ I ’  experiencing   that  bliss .There  is only    the  happiness  .Real  happiness  has  no reason . when  you  are really  happy   (  with  no  sense  of  I )  you  cannot   say   ‘  I am  happy   because  ….’ If   you  try  hard  to be  happy  you  are  sure   to   fail . Real  happiness  comes  without  being  invited .

Can  you watched  your  mind  so closely  that   it  comes  to  a point   where  thinking  stops  ? The  mind  is peaceful  when  there  is  no  thought   but  just  awareness  of   what  is .Thinking  cannot  make  the  mind  peaceful .There   are problems   which  cannot  be  solved,  and  the best  way to    deal  with  such  problem  is  not  to  think  about  them . Thinking  round  and  round  just  wears  you  out . Educated  people  like  us  thinks  too much .

Reading  ,talking   and all  other  distractions  ,make  a person   forgetful.   A  person  who  does   too  much    of  ( any  of  )  these  feels  very  empty, restless  and   bored   when  not  doing  them .  or   their  mind   becomes  very  dull   without  those  stimulants .

Each  thoughts  wears  and  tears    the  mind  .thinking  is  a  burden ,   a torture . You  think  you  can  find  a way   to  make  yourself     happy   by  thinking  about   it . How  longed  have  you  fooled  yourself   that  way ?  And  I  how   long  are  you  going  to  fool  yourself ?Enough  thinking !  Just  see  what’s  happening with out  thinking .
 A   lot  of  things  have  lost  their  importance  for me .That  gives  me  a lot   more  freedom  to  see  what’s  going  on  in  my  mind,  in  my  life .

A thinking  mind   cannot  see ;  thinking  is  blind. A  seeing  mind  doesn’t  think ; seeing   excludes   thinking  .Really  seeing  is  not  the  same as  noting .The  more  you  think,  the  more  you  go  round  and  round .If  you    see  thinking  really  clearly  ,it  must  stop .

I’m  not  thinking. Thoughts  are  going  on  by  themselves. It  seems       like  they are  self  - perpetuating .

Don’t  think  too much  and   don’t  too much . To  be  able  to  meditate   one should   not be  busy ;  not  talk  much ; not   indulge    in  sleeping  ; delight  in  solitude ; be  aware  of  all   the  six   sense  doors  ;  be  moderate  in  eating .

How’s  your  meditation  these  days ? When  you  stop    thinking , when  you even  stop  noting  ., when  your  mind  comes  to  complete silence  ,being alert  and aware  ,then  you  see the fleeting  nature,  the dreamlike  nature  of   the  things .

People  get  absorbed  in entertainment   and  information , diverting   their  mind  from  the  real , important  things  in  life.It  is  much  more  rewarding  to  study  your  own mind and  your  own  life, but  most  people  are afraid  to do that . Instead  they want  to forget  themselves . They  are running  away  from  themselves; they  don’t  have encourage  courage  to  face  themselves . But  I’m  not  talking  about   thinking; I’m talking  about  watching   .yes,  if  you  think  too much  about  yourself ,you will  go  crazy .

People  feel  empty  and useless. To  cover  that  they   try  to keep  themselves  busy .People  feel  important  when  they’re busy .

 Who can   tell you  what  to do ?Not  me . You  have  to find out   for   yourself .I can only tell  you : Be mindful  and  live a simple life , which I think  you are doing  anyway . We  cannot  have   everything . We  have to  make  a choice  and  let  the  rest  go .

 Less  desire  , less  burden .

I have  no  doubt  that craving, attachment ,lust  and  greed  is the source  of  dukkha ( suffering ),  and  the only  way  to grow  out  of  them  is  seeing  through  and  through . Suppressing  and / or  deeply  is  what  counts .

No amount  of  explanation  can   make  you  understand  what  greed  is  unless  you  see  it   when  it  is functioning    in  your  mind . It  is like  a spy ; it  has  many  faces  and is deceitful. You have been   deceived  by greed.

Tanha  (greed ), mana  (pride ,conceit ,I – ness  ) ,  ditthi (wrong  views )  are  papanca .They are the cause  of  so  much  unnecessary  activities  , the cause  of  the prolongation   of  smasara (  cycle  of  birth  and death ),  and  the cause  of delay  for people  to  practise  and  become  liberated .  papanca expands  mental  and  physical phenomena ,  keeping  people  busy and distracted .

Vitakka  ( initial  application ) is initially  (applying )  the mind  on  an object , or  initially taking  the object   into  the mind ,whereas vicara  is keeping  the mind  on  the same  object   in   sustained way. Vitakka  works  together  with  vicara  in  the  beginning  stages  of  meditation  because  the  mind slips away  from  the meditation  object . It  has  to be put back again and again and  kept  there .After  some practice the   mind  doesn’t slip  away   so easily  but  it  needs effort  to  keep it  on  the object.after  much practice it stays  in  the object .Both are mental  concomitants  ( cetasika ).                    
 I have  read  Vimala  Thakar’s   article “ Meditation ,A  way  of life ”. Here are  some  of  things I really liked  in  it  :
….unless  there  is an innate  passion  to  find  out,  to discover  for  oneself one  will not  be  equipped  to live  the meditative  way . Meditation  is  the total  way  of living ,not  a partial or fragmentary  activity …Life  is neither   occidental  or  oriental …There  is  no excitement  in a real enquirer, there is depth  of   intensity, not  the shallowness  of enthusiastic excitement…Then that  states  of observation  begins to  permeate  the  waking  hours. Whether  you cook a meal,  go  to the office , or while  you are talking, the  state  of  observation   begins  to permeate  all  activities  of  the walking hours…When  the states  of observation is sustained  the sensitivity gets heighted,  and from  morning  till night you are much  more aware than  before  .It is no use  concentrating your  attention  upon  the activities  of the mind , to the exclusion  of the rest  of your  way of living. Meditation  is something  pertaining   to  the whole  being  and  whole  life .Either  you live  in  it or  you do  not  live  in  it. In another words  it is related  to everything physical  and psychological ..Thus, from  the  small area  of mental  activity ,we have  brought  meditation  to a vast field  of consciousness, where  it  gets related to  the way  you sit  or   stand, the  way  you gesticulate  or  articulate  throughout the day .Whether   you want  it  or  not ,the  inner  states  of  your being gets expressed in  your behavior …This co – relation of meditation to  the  total way  of living  is the first  requirement   on  the part  of the  total transformation … Very  few  of  us  realize  that constant  verbalization  is one  of  the greatest obstacles  in  the path  of meditation…Life  is a homogeneous  whole  and you can never fragment  it ..To  be aware  of  the lapse   or  the gap is   itself  a  kind  of observation .
(Vimala  Thakar )

A fragmentary  or specialized  approach to life  will not work .One  needs an all-around understanding. In the body , every  part  is related  to every  other  part . So  it  is in  life : Every aspect  of  your  life  is related  to every  other aspect  of  life. The economic , emotional ,intellectual, social  and spiritual aspects  of your  life are all related .You  cannot   keep them  separate .If  you try to keep them separate your  life  will be unfulfilling  and unharmonious . There  will be conflict ,a schism, paralysis .

Have  you  ever  read   that  the Buddha  washed  his feet ,hands and bowls  very carefully ?everything    he did  was spiritualised .That is true spirituality. It is related  to every  aspect  of  your  life . So, the way you  talk , dress , relate  to  other  people ,eat, sleep ,laugh , __everything  you do reflects  your  mind .
 How  to think profoundly ?You   need a quiet ,mindful  mind ;a mind  which  is not  tired  or  agitated  but  seeing  clearly . it   si the seeing  clearly which  is  important .

Conflicts  we  all   have ,both internal and external .Only clear awareness  and wisdom   can help .

Try to think  more positive thoughts . thinking  is very powerful . And  have things  around  you  which  will make you more cheerful. Read  books  that  make  your  mind  calm,  serene  and cheerful .some  books are depressing .And don’t expect  too much  either  from yourself  or others .

After  I’d practiced  mindfulness meditation  for two  years,I read Mahasi   Sayadaw’s  book  on  mindfulness  practice and found   that most  of what  I’d experienced  agreed  with  what he said   in  his  book ( to my astonishment  and  delight ). Better  to practise  long enough and then read the  book  on  nyanzin ( states / progress of   insight ), but  nyanzin is  not a feather  in one’s  hat .

Some  basic  taught  of what  the Buddha taught  is  necessary. Without  having heard about Dhamma  from some  good teacher  it  is impossible  to practise  it rightly .How much pariyatti  ( theoretical  knowledge  of the Dhamma )  is necessary ? That’s  the question .
Pancavaggi  __the group  of five  monks heard the  Dhammacakkapavattana  Sutta  and  the Anatalakkahana  Sutta, and that  was enough  for them  ( to attain enlightment ),Sila  ( morality )is necessary, without  which one cannot be  at peace with oneself .Sila  supports meditation and  meditation supports  sila .
 You  will find all sorts  of  people  in  that  country. Some are sincere,  some understand  Dhamma,  but  a lot  of them are totally lost  and mixed- up. Hindu ,Zen ,Tibet ,Theravada,Western psychology .Someone  said  it  is  hin-lei-oh ( a type  of Burmese  curry  with many   ingredients ) in America .  All sorts  of things  mixed  up  and boiled .No  perfection  anywhere.If you  don’t  now  anything  about  Dhamma  you can  get  even  more  confused .Go there for  a visit and find  out. Life  is a series  of experiments. Nobody  can tell  you   whether  you  will be  happy there  or not but  you’ll sure  find  a lot of freedom , freedom to    live  your  life in    your  own  way .As  for  the way  others  are  living  their  life, what  can one  say  ?   It’s their life .Everybody is more  or less a bala ( fool ).Your  understanding  and practice  of Dhamma  is your  only  protetction .

Yes, the more  mindful  one  is the softer  one becomes. One becomes  more sensitive  : sensitive  to pain : more sensitive to  unhappiness :  more sensitive  to nonsense .One can get easily  irritated by meaninglessness .You  might feel  upset  because  the world is full of people    who are not even aware  of their unwholesome  states  of  mind . And  they can expect  you  to share  attitude  towards  life  ( conduct ).You  might  sometimes  feel  vey unhappy   that  people  not  only  do  not  appreciate   Dhamma but  they even  laugh at those  who  who  practice it .Sometimes they even  intentionally  give  them trouble .These  things  happen  even among  monks .So,  understand  people  and forgive  them .Upekkha  (equanimity ) is very peaceful .

Sometimes,  some people   ask  me  why  they  become so easily  irritated  ( upset ) in their relationship  with  people . The answer  is that they  can’t  tolerate  so    much  nonsense  any more. They  don’t  want  to waste  so  much  time  talking  and  gossiping .Before  they  enjoy  talking , gossiping  and killing  time ,talking politics .now, they can only tolerate  small  dose  of it . When  they  become  mindful  of what they are  talking  about  ,they  feel  it tastes  bad  in  their  mouth .They   feel degraded  upset  when the   other  party doesn’t  take  the hint .They  might even become rude . So, you must  be  very mindful  of that kind  of mind state .Understand people  and forgive  them .

“The more I meditate and have  sati (  mindfulness ) the more  I want  to run away  from this  mad ,world .” It would  be nice  if  that were  possible .But  before  you can change  try to be tolerate  and develop   upekkha , or  else  you  will burn yourself  out.

“ You always  try  to help us , understand  us, have  you no  need for  others to understand you ?” yes, I don’t need others to understand me  but I would appreciate  if they did   . To understand  somebody  is  not  so easy .I don’t   really understand  others but I try .It’s  hard  enough  to understand  oneself .If  you don’t  understand  yourself , how can   you understand  another  person ? And  to understand  yourself , you must  be  very  honest  with  your self .
It ‘s really difficult  to be honest with oneself .We lie  to ourselves  all the time .I am hypocrite .it’s  painful  to   see that .

May  be  you forgot  I am human  being  too, with  my own  share  of foolishness .I  don’t think I  can become  perfect ,and I don’t want to be perfect . All I hope  for  is to see  what is real  in me.   Even when I see my faults  I don’t get excited  or upset .I am not in a hurry  to   remove them .  I can’t remove them .I can only hope to see them as they  really are  . And in most cases ,even  when I see them  I distort  them .The  mind is very good   in distorting  things. Self –deception. I deceive   myself  most  of the time ,I  am learning  to see self – deception  more and  more .I’m  not really upset   when  I see  self –deception .If not for mindfulness my life  would   be a bad  joke .

To  accept  the inevitable  is very important  for peace of mind .

Real  anicca ( impermanence ) is beyond  story level. Reading  something  in  a newspaper and understanding anicca is being intellectual .When you really  see annica  it is  what you are experiencing  in the  immediate  present .There is no thinking .It’s hard  to write everything  it  a letter .So  much  to say ,so  little e space .

People create ideas and those ideas become prisons, but   a man who can see through the walls can  go through  it.

I am going to meditate  more seriously . My mind is   too full with too many worldly matters. I’ve travelled  and talk  too much .Now I want  to be quiet  again . Thinking is such  a big burden .I  am a man in a boat in the open sea : alone, without any radio to contavt, but I have compass (mindfulness) .

When your  thoughts  become radical and you do not want   to be misunderstood , you become silent or  you will say things  that   you are  not really  interested in saying . You say things  that   get  near  to what  you want  to say  but  you  say   it in such a way  that people  don’t understand  what you are saying .Sometimes, you are happy that   they don’t  understand  what  you are saying .What do  you want to  express your thoughts ? This is another attachment . there will be silence and peace .

To be resisting  all the time  to people and situations, even though it is  slight ,can cause mental strain, which  can cause  exhaustion in  the long  run .Watch  your  mind  see how much reaction is going  on to real and imaginary situations. See the mental strain .It is better to live in  place where you  don’t have to resist  or react  all the time . You might  have  to  live alone .(if you can stand loneliness ).

“The deeper you feel the more silent you must be about your
 feeling  ”

Being  misunderstood  is  so frustrating .Most people have not enough  courage  to see /accept the truth .They want something that will  make  them happy .Truth is sometimes frightening .Really .Being disillusioned  is scary . There is nothing you can hold on to .Not even Dhamma ( What is   Dhamma ,anyway ? ) There  is only to see, to understand. Most  people are looking  for something  they can hold on to _ asset  of deals ; a goal ; a method ; a community  ;a sect ;an order ; anything  they can identify  with .

Unless you can embrace loneliness  you will not understand what friendship really means . For most people  friendship  is a mean to overcome loneliness. Cultivate loneliness .Live alone  as much as possible and see if you feel O.K. about that .
If you can really handle loneliness it will be  nice to live a place like  that .If you can get a good  friend  to share that peaceful  place  with you it  would  be better .But I think the   price  is too much .

Do you practice  mindfulness always ?
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